


I'm With You

by DOAE



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dark, Depression, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, Romance, Self-Doubt, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 08:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11287698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DOAE/pseuds/DOAE
Summary: Shane isn't fond of strangers, so it's not surprising when the new farmer moves in that he doesn't take a liking to her. But through silly pranks and late drunk night conversations, he starts to see that him and Aurora aren't so different after all.





	1. Shane

* * *

 

* * *

 

He leaned back away from the pier, holding his bottle up, letting the light of the moon show its contents. It was almost empty. He peered at it with bloodshot drunken eyes. He finished the rest in one gulp and laid the bottle on its side before pushing it away, letting it roll and clank against the other empty bottles piled behind him.

He reached for another one and upon twisting the cap off, let out a burp that echoed in the night. He silently laughed to himself like a child. He downed the new bottle in what seemed like record time, even for him, and let it roll and clank against the rest. He reached back for another, only to realize he'd drank them all.

He sighed heavily. Lately, he had begun to drink a lot more than usual, and 'the usual' was a lot to begin with. The valley was supposed to be a vacation of sorts, a way of getting his shit together, and at first it had worked. He'd gotten that job at JojaMart, and even started helping Marnie on the ranch. He wasn't happy—he didn't think he'd ever be—but with the new job and scenery, it was enough to help him push whether he was happy or not to the side. He'd drank in the city after the accident, after nothing else capped the fire that burned beneath him, and after blackened nights, he swore he'd never drink again. That's when he decided the valley would do him and Jas both some good. Maybe in that old farmhouse where he'd spent most of his childhood, in the dense Cindersap Forest where him and his brother spent late fall evenings, he would find himself again. At first, moving back to the valley seemed to work.

But then that familiar cold came rushing back, grasping him by the stomach and spreading through his veins. The scenery of the valley changed then. He'd stare too long, but he wasn't looking. Suddenly the green fields he saw early in the mornings became the background of which he played out his saddest moments, failures, and things that would never come. So, he started drinking again, and again, to numb the coldness that he felt, or at least push it back until the morning. Pelican Town was just as he remembered it all those years ago, with his brother, cousins, and his parents and he knew then; that was the problem. But now he couldn't leave. The memories were too fresh now, and he felt like he owed them to stay.

He groaned out loud as he stood, swaying dangerously as he bent down to grab the empty bottles he threatened to topple over into the water. The walk back to the ranch was spent stumbling over his own feet as his world spun. The familiar feeling wrapped around him though, and no matter how unsteady his world felt, he felt steady; the fire beneath him had been quenched.

He opened the door to the ranch as quietly as he could, but bumped into the door frame and rattled the empty beer bottles in his hands. He paused at the door, it slightly ajar as he let the dim blue light of the night drift in. He waited to see if anyone had heard the noise, but he was only welcomed by silence. He drifted through the kitchen, placing his bottles at the bottom of the trashcan.

His eyes stared at nothing as he reached in the freezer for a pizza, and as he tried to open the microwave, he swayed backward as the ground beneath him seemed to move and he let it take him as he fell with a smack.

* * *

He woke up in his bed, Jas sitting on the edge as she watched cartoons on his TV. He grunted as he rolled over to face her, his stomach twisting and his head suddenly pounding.

"Good morning, Uncle Shane!" She cheered. Shane winced at her loud voice. "You sure are sleepy. You were so tired, me and Marnie found you passed out in the kitchen this morning."

He tried to smile at her words, but all he felt was a sharp pang of guilt, as if she'd stabbed him right in the gut with that smile.

"Yeah." Was all he could say, a soft forced smile tugging on his lips.

He lay there a few moments more, staring at the ceiling before he decided to force himself up. His curtains were drawn, probably done by Marnie as she'd know what state he would wake up in. Light still seeped through and he turned his head away, staring directly at Jas. Her blue eyes were content on him, big and bright, and he forced himself to look away. He just couldn't do it.

He rolled out of bed with hunched shoulders and eyes rimmed with red. He shuffled his way to the kitchen where Marnie sat at the table, her eyes drifting to him when he entered the room.

"Good morning," but her voice wasn't cheerful like it usually was. "Do you want something to eat?"

No matter how upset she was with him, no matter that she had to drag his body to bed this morning and lie to Jas for him, she took it upon herself to care for him.

"I'm not really hungry."

"Shane…"

"Please, just leave it." He cut her off with a curt wave.

He showered, taking longer than usual as he let the warm water run over him, hoping that maybe it would dilute the coldness that swam through him. If anything, it hissed and created steam inside him, causing him to stare at the shower wall for too long.

When he got out he dressed and as much as he tried not to, he got a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked much older than twenty-seven: his face gray, and dark hateful bags resting under red rimmed eyes. He had a five o'clock shadow that he didn't even bother shaving—what would the difference make anyway? He pressed his lips in a firm line, giving his reflection a disapproving look, but the eyes that looked back at him were too gone to give a fuck.

His hands slithered into his Joja jacket as he slipped out of the bathroom and made his way through the kitchen. Marnie was still sitting at the table, reading a magazine about farming. As he went to leave, she called after him.

"A new farmer moved into the old farm next door. Maybe you should pay them a visit!"

H e rolled his eyes. Like that was going to happen.


	2. Aurora

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

It was mid spring and she was still having troubles. She had lived in the city most of her life, and the last thing she knew anything about was farming. But, how hard could it be? Dig a hole here and there, plant a seed, water, repeat. What she found was a whole other world. She was getting better at it, from watching TV and reading books. It helped too, that some of the villagers she befriended knew a thing or two about farming.

Pelican Town was nothing like she was accustomed to. She was a city girl, used to the avoided eye contact from people on the street and the curt waves and the short, stiff nods of their heads. But here, everyone smiled and waved and asked how she was. At first it was too much, but she soon grew to like their wandering eyes and warm greetings.

Pelican Town was nothing like she remembered. She was twelve the last time she had been here, and back then, the town seemed far bigger than it was. That was nine years ago, and maybe it didn't quite feel the same without her Grandpa there. She missed him, but his old cottage and farm made it feel as if he'd never left her.

She thought about that often when she was out in the fields, ready to give up and cursing at herself; he wouldn't have left her the farm if he didn't think she could do it. And maybe he was watching her right now, from where he was, and suddenly she would feel silly for kicking the dirt and letting a string of curse words fall from her lips. She'd pick herself back up, and start all over again.

That's how she got where she was now, walking into town with a basket of fresh parsnips in tow. She had already sold a fair amount and decided she was in a fairly good mood to give some out as gifts. She saw Harvey first and smiled, greeting him with an energetic wave.

"Good morning, Aurora," he greeted. "How's the farming coming?"

"Great! Here, you can be the first to have a vegetable from my farm." She handed over a parsnip, taking pride in the impressed look that flashed across Harvey's face as he studied the produce in his hands.

"How kind of you. Just remember to save some for yourself; fresh vegetables are healthy for the mind and body." She smiled and agreed, although she knew that instead of fixing herself dinner tonight with her farm's produce, she'd probably put a pizza in the oven.

Her day continued much like this, handing out parsnips to villagers who she found wandering around. Although when she stopped by Alex's, she lingered too long and got sucked into one of his high school gridball stories. She'd heard them all at least a hundred times by now, and it was only mid-spring. She was surprised to find that her and Alex became good friends quickly, despite Haley being crude and unrelenting towards her.

"Alex, you've already told me this," she droned. "I have other things I have to do."

"You mean handing out your turnips?"

Aurora looked offended at his comment. "These are parsnips! Not turnips."

Alex flicked his ball in the air, catching it without even looking at it, his eyes fixed on Aurora. "What's the difference between the two?"

Aurora opened her mouth, but then closed it as she realized she hadn't a clue what the difference was. She was new at this, and honestly, she just planted whatever seeds that the packets said to plant in spring. She pursued her lips, and then narrowed her eyes at Alex, daring.

"I'll get you for that," she threatened. She pointed at him as she backed away, walking in the direction of the saloon.

"Hey, wait, Aurora where are you going?" He called after her, but she turned and continued walking, ignoring his shouts.

She spotted Emily, her bright blue hair a beacon in the late spring sun. She was nothing like her prissy sister, and Aurora found her enjoyable. She smiled and waved, holding up her basket like it was a prize to be won.

"I've got parsnips!" She called, and was happy when Emily beamed back at her.

"Oh, your first crop from your farm, how exciting."

Aurora handed one over. "I'm giving them out to people as kind of a celebratory thing."

"That's great! So, you've met everyone in the town?"

"I think so!" Aurora thought for a minute, lips pursued. "Well, except Marnie's nephew. He's always at work when I stop by her ranch."

"Oh, Shane?"

Aurora shrugged her shoulders, the name meaning nothing.

"Just be…cautious of your first impression of Shane," Emily smiled warmly. "He's a very private person; he deals with a lot and sometimes he likes to deal with it by drinking. Sometimes too much, and I think that makes him angry."

Aurora tapped the side of her head. "Noted."

Emily had been the second person to tell her Shane liked to have his privacy and to drink, the first being Marine herself. Marnie had simply told her that first day on her ranch, that Shane wasn't good with strangers and if she were to run into him to not take anything too hard that he'd said. _Though_ , Aurora thought, _how could he be anymore awkward towards strangers than Sebastian was?_

But she had yet to meet him and she thought that if maybe she kept busy, she wouldn't have to. Not that she didn't want to, she most certainly wanted to meet everyone in town, but the last thing she wanted was to be dragged down by a grumpy alcoholic workaholic.

That night on the farm, her mother called her. Her mother tried to call at least once a week, not used to having her living so far away. Although Aurora wanted to find it annoying, she secretly loved that her mother called her on late evenings; sometimes it got a bit lonely on the big old farm.

"How is everything?" Her mother asked as Aurora sank low into the chair. She held the phone between her shoulder and ear as she tried to stir the tub of ice cream in her lap.

"Good. I just harvested my first round of crops this morning."

"That's great, honey! Were they good?"

"I don't know. I sold half of them and gave away the rest. I like farming but I'm not a big fan of the food."

"You mean…vegetables? Fruits?" Her mother laughed.

"Yeah. I mean, I like them, but I'd rather fix me a pizza or pizza rolls."

"Honey, please tell me you're eating more than just that. You've got an entire farm; you should try eating better."

Aurora rolled her eyes hard enough that she blinked few times, trying to get her focus back. "Okay, mom." It was quite a moment; Aurora knew that her mother was thinking about something. This was when she usually when into her tirades, and when Aurora would suddenly have to get off the phone.

"I'm just so glad that you moved out of the city and got some fresh air. We both know you needed it."

"Mom, please, let's not talk about it." _Please_ , Aurora thought, _anything but_ it.

"I know, I know. I'm just saying sweetie, that I'm proud of you and you're doing great," it was quite as she paused, thinking. "And if you ever feel…if you ever get that feeling…you know. Call me, I'm here."

Aurora reached up and gripped the phone against her ear, the pressure starting to hurt. "Okay. I will, mom."


	3. Just A Chat?

 

* * *

 

 

Aurora made her way into town earlier than usual, having harvested all her crops, she had nothing to water this morning. She hummed to herself as she pulled on the doors to Pierre's, only to find that the doors didn't give. She peered at the sign hanging by the door, and then squinted into the shop as if Pierre could see her. _Fucking Wednesdays._

She backed away slowly, keeping her eyes squinted at the shop, and felt something bump up against her back. She turned, and was welcomed by the daring glare of…well, she didn't actually know who it was. She cocked her head, trying to remember if she'd met this man before.

"I don't think we've met." She smiled, holding out her hand. His dark green eyes flicked to her hand before drifting back up to her face. Her smile faltered when her hand was left empty, and she dropped it back to her side. "I'm Aurora. I just-"

"What do you want?" He spoke low, timid, and the corner of his mouth twitched. She squinted at him, much like she did into the shop window, and she smiled inwardly when his eyes rounded and then one of his eyebrows raised in question. "What are you doing?"

"My names Aurora," she repeated. "And I don't think I know who you are."

He turned his head, looking off to the side as if someone had suddenly called his name. But Aurora could see his jaw twitching.

"Shane."

"Ah. Marnie's nephew. The one who…" Aurora caught herself before she let the words _the one who likes to drink_ slip off her tongue. But she had Shane's attention now, those dark eyes planted on her once again.

"The one who, what?"

Aurora pursued her lips and looked around at anything but him.

"The one who…lives with Marnie. On Marine's ranch…with Marnie. Her nephew." She nodded, as if that gave justice to the string of shit that she had just spoke. This time, it was Shane's turn to squint at her.

"You're weird as shit." He deadpanned, and looking her over once more, he brushed past her, hands deep in his jacket pockets. "I don't know you, so don't talk to me." He looked over his shoulder once at her, and maintaining eye contact, he reached back and flipped his hood over his head.

Aurora watched him walk towards JojaMart, and once he crossed the bridge, she turned and walked in the other direction, completely forgetting their encounter.

"Hey, farm girl!" The voice rang out over the empty lot next to the Stardrop, and she looked up in time to see Alex waving her over. She smiled and waved as she headed toward him, seeing that he was leaning up against the fence, a chunk of meat in his hands. She already knew it was for Dusty. She'd never seen Dusty out much though, and honestly, she never stopped by to check.

"Hey," she said, sliding up next to him. She leaned her back up against the fence and crossed her arms, eyes searching across the lot for nothing in particular.

"I'm trying to teach Dusty new tricks," Alex muttered. He gave up a moment later when Dusty planted himself on the ground, dark eyes locked onto the steak like a missile.

"Do you know Shane?" Aurora found herself asking. She looked over her shoulder, trying to find him, but he was already across the bridge and out of sight. Alex looked at her suddenly, raising an eyebrow.

"We've talked. Why?" When Aurora gave him a small shrug, he continued. "Look, if he was rude to you, just look past it, okay? He's just got a lot going on, that's all. Once, when I went to the saloon to play pool, we ended up talking a little about gridball. He used to play. He's actually a nice guy once you get past the stony wall."

Before Aurora could press him more, he turned and grinned wide, leaning back against the fence, mimicking her. "Looks like a good day to play catch, huh?" He turned to her a little bit, his grin narrowing into a sly smile. "If you weren't a girl I'd ask you to play catch."

Aurora's mouth dropped open in mock hurt, but not before she softly punched Alex on the shoulder. "I'll play catch with you. I'll out do you, c'mon. Let's do this." Alex smiled at her response as he bent down to pick up the gridball that lay next to the fence. He tossed it in the air a few times before taking off a few feet away.

"This too far? I don't want to go too far; it might be harder for you." He was still smiling. Aurora rolled her eyes, giving him a c'mon gesture with her hands. Alex reared back and threw it too softly, enough to let Aurora know it was on purpose. She caught it easily and without much hesitance she let her arm snap hard and watched it sore toward Alex in a straight line with no arch to kill the speed. He caught it against his stomach with a smack, and a smirk formed on her lips when he looked at her wide-eyed.

"I'd be just fine watching you from a distance," he dropped his voice and joked. He threw it again, harder this time, but she caught it nonetheless. She hesitated this time, pursuing her lips about his last comment. She smiled then and threw the gridball, but it was evident that her aim was not Alex.

The ball sored over his head, and even though he jumped to try and catch it, she had purposefully thrown it out of reaching distance. It landed in the river with a satisfied splash, and Alex's head shot back around to face her.

"What the hell, Aurora?"

She crossed her arms. "I'd be just fine watching you get that from a distance."

"It was just a joke, god!" He barked. He turned and stumped toward the river, his jacket flapping behind him. Aurora didn't stay to watch but as she turned to leave, she saw him standing there, watching what had just happened, a case of beer under his arm. He didn't say anything but she swore she saw the corners of his mouth turn up into a small, weak smile. If they did he quickly frowned, and walking past her, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

She watched him go like she had last time, only looking away when she heard a splash and a cry from Alex. He had fallen face first into the bank of the river, the front of his black shirt caked in wet dark sand. The gridball was tightly secured under his arm, and Aurora knew that would be the last thing he'd let go of.

"I am never playing catch with you again." He growled.

"I'd more than happy to play catch with you if you wouldn't mind keeping your comments to yourself."

"It was just a joke!" He yelled, shooting her a narrow glare over his shoulder as he headed for his house, cradling his gridball in both arms, probably whispering comforting sweet nothings to it.

* * *

It was 6pm and she was left sitting on her front porch with nothing to do. Her plot was tilled where her next harvest would go, but she didn't have any seeds to plant just yet; she'd have to wait until Pierre was open tomorrow. She thought about clearing out more space in the fields, but honestly, she was too exhausted to even do that.

The sun was starting to set just behind the tree line, throwing her field into a tangerine colored dance. She could have sat there all evening and watched it, but the late spring breeze had started to blow and she began to grow chill. She could go to the Stardrop, Lewis did tell her that most of the townsfolk gathered there in the evenings. She wasn't much of a drinker though, or a socializer, but it beat sitting out on her porch in the chilly night air. She grabbed her jacket and headed into town.

The Stardrop was welcoming. Not just the heat, but the slow chatter that wafted up to greet her ears was relaxing and comforting. She made her way to the bar, taking her seat next to Harvey. He seemed shocked at first to have her sitting so close to him, but his uneasiness briefly faded away into a soft smile.

"Good evening, Aurora."

"Hey, Harvey."

"Taking care, I hope? I don't know much about farming, but I know it can be tiring and stressful."

"It's on the house," Gus smiled, kindly interrupting Harvey briefly as he slid a beer across the counter to Aurora. "First time guest, and all." Aurora smiled her thanks before turning back to the doctor. When she did, her eyes landed on Shane, sitting off at the end of the bar by himself, just over Harvey's shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, I'm doing great. Thanks for asking." She spoke absentmindedly as she stood, softly placing a hand on Harvey's shoulder as if that made her abrupt departure less rude. Beer in hand, she made her way to the end of the bar where he sat alone. When she approached, he kept his head down but made eye contact with her from under his lashes. When she plopped down in the seat right next to him, he shifted uncomfortably, bringing his own beer to his lips and taking a rather heroic gulp.

"Still trying to talk to me?" He said after she remained quiet. Glancing over, she had a smirk on her face.

"You talked first."

He stared at her, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass. "What do you want from me?"

"Just a friendly chat?" She smiled then, fully, brightly. _This must be how she reels them in_ , Shane thought. _But not me_.

"I'm not friendly," he took another drink. "So leave me alone."

"Okay."

She didn't move then, just sat staring at her beer. She stole a glance at him. He had one arm stretched in front of him while the other clung to the glass half empty of beer. His hair was a bit disheveled, but it matched the way his eyes stared in the beer but were so full of things Aurora couldn't comprehend. She tapped on the bar in thought.

"What about just a chat then?" She said after an uneasy silence had fallen. He slammed his glass down on the bar, but the noise in the bar drowned it out so nobody was sending questioning glances their way.

"You said you weren't friendly…so how about just a chat?"


	4. Fuck Off

* * *

 

* * *

 

Shane didn't like people. Well, that wasn't true. He liked them, just not their presence. He discovered a long time ago that hell is other people. He liked to sit alone, pretend he was the only one at the bar, and drink his beer until the chatter of other people turned from waves crashing on him to bubbles floating aimlessly in the air. That was hard to do on this particular night, when a set of green eyes stared up at him. _What was her name again?_ She'd told him earlier that morning when she had been standing outside Pierre's shop. He had seen her staring the shop down, her eyes squinting in through the window as if she was threatening Pierre. Then she had done the same to him.

He'd saw her again, throwing gridball with Alex. He had laughed to himself when she threw it well over his head. Shane knew it was on purpose—he could tell by the way she released it and her stance. He'd wondered where she learned to throw like that, and how she'd gotten that good. He wasn't going to ask her, though. Because right now, all he wanted was for her to shut the fuck up.

"So how about just a chat?" She had asked him. She then turned that big, bright smile on him. He stared back into his beer, letting the piss color slosh around the sides as he twisted his glass.

"How about no?"

"You can't really want to be alone."

He looked at her then, hoping that his eyes matched the darkness that he currently felt. Her smile faltered and then disappeared, and he smiled inwardly. Who the hell was she to say what he wanted? He gripped his glass tighter.

"How else can I put this?" He said, turning and staring right at her. "Fuck off." He turned back to his beer, the knuckles around the handle growing white. She only sat there a moment longer before she slid out of the seat next to him, leaving her full glass of beer and slamming the door on her way out. Shane finished the rest of his beer and reached over and without hesitating, began drinking hers.

* * *

When he got back to the ranch, he wasn't drunk. Some nights were different than others; some nights he just felt like drinking until he couldn't walk, until his thoughts were only preoccupied with how to function instead of the clouded mess he felt otherwise. Some nights, he just needed a little liquid push to make himself feel better. He wasn't an alcoholic, not yet, but he knew he was bordering the line. Lately, he didn't care.

He walked passed the ranch, instead heading toward the pier. He wasn't quite sure why, but being out there after dark seemed to help him cope. He thought that maybe it was due to the stillness that cladded down around him when he sat at the edge of the dock, the way that it seemed to skip across the water like a flat stone and squeeze around him. Other times, he felt like the stone itself, treading lightly before sinking. Either way was okay with him.

When he stepped foot onto the dock, however, he knew he wasn't alone. He could make out a small figure hunched over at the water's edge, feet dangling in the water. He grunted softly and turned on his heels.

"Shane?"

"You just don't know when to leave people alone, huh?" He heard her shift and stand, and he turned to see her standing within a few feet of him. He winced and took a few steps back.

"I was actually just leaving." Her tone was somewhere between anger and hurt, something Shane had heard many times in his life. She brushed past him, and soon he was left alone. Just like he wanted.

He sat at the edge of the dock, and suddenly the liquid he drank earlier couldn't hold back the coldness and it pulled hard until it snapped like a rubber band. It washed over him, like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on him. It wretched it gut, spread to his chest, and then seared across his head, releasing all those thoughts that was hid behind that wall the liquid had helped build. The tears came next, and he cried silently.

He let the tears fall until his face felt swollen and stiff, and his lips ran dry. He ran a hand over his face as he stood, heading toward the ranch. He kept the case of beer in his room, and it was all he could think about as he headed back toward the house.

He hadn't even had the chance to turn the light on in his room when he cracked open a beer. He chugged it, tossed it to the side and didn't hesitate to open another one. He lost track of how many he drank before he flopped down on the bed.

He didn't remember falling asleep but he woke up with a familiar headache as light streamed in through the window. He grunted, rolled over, and pulled the blankets high over his head. He was almost drifted off to sleep again when a knock came on his door. It was odd, because Marnie never knocked, never bothered him in the mornings. It was this alone that caused him to throw his covers back and groggily get out of bed. He shuffled over to the door and swung it open.

His eyes rounded in surprise, because the last person he expected to be knocking on his bedroom door was the new farmer. It took him a minute to realize that he had no pants on, just his faded checkered boxers. He was missing a sock too, and he was damned sure his hair was sticking up in every direction it could possibly go.

"Good morning, sunshine. Before you say anything," Aurora was already talking, holding up her hand as she saw he was about to open his mouth. "I'm not here to harass you. Marnie asked for my help in fixing a couple of the fences out by the barn, and said that if I needed help to come get you. She said if you weren't in the kitchen though, to leave you be."

He rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hand before narrowing them at her. "You not know how to listen to directions?"

"I do. But why should I be the only one working while you're in here nursing a hangover? It's your ranch too."

"You're insufferable."

"And you're a mess. C'mon, let's get cleaned up," she said the demand in the form of a cheer, although something behind her tone was snarky. "I won't start until you're ready."

She turned then, leaving Shane standing there in the doorway, one hand resting on the wall while the other gripped the doorknob tight. He stared after her, his narrowed eyes growing amused. He smirked, but just for good measures, he slammed his bedroom door shut as he crawled back into the room, searching for something to slip on.

Although it was mid-spring and the summer heat was starting to trickle in, Shane still shrugged on his blue Joja jacket, zipping it up halfway. It was the bulkiness that he liked, the outer layer concealing the things he didn't like about himself. Out of sight, out of mind. _Now, if only that worked for my face,_ he'd thought on several occasions. Before he left his room, he ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it down. He was sure it only looked half better, but he didn't care.

Aurora was sitting at the kitchen table, her arms crossed and her lips pursued. He saw that look before, right before she threw that ball over Alex's head and into the river. What was she thinking now?

"What're you doing?" He asked, his tone skeptical and his eyes narrowing again.

"Waiting for you." She smiled at him, but it wasn't that same bright smile like at the saloon. "Are you ready?"

He only grunted in response, walking past her to head out the door. The sunlight streaming through his window was enough to make his head pound, but the sunlight outside was excruciating. He nearly doubled over and shielded his eyes but Aurora was behind him, so he just squinted, so much so that he might as well had his eyes completely shut.

"We have to go chop wood, though, before we can start." Aurora's voice was suddenly loud and booming and Shane swore she was talking loud on purpose. "I have plenty of wood over on my land." Shane didn't object as he followed her up the worn path, swearing that this hangover was going to be the death of him.

Shane had never been on the farm before, and he hadn't realized just how big it was. For a fleeting moment, he found himself in awe; Aurora was running this farm all by herself. The moment passed, however, when she stopped at the shed and tossed an axe in his direction. She looked surprised when he caught it one handed and with ease, and he let a sly grin tug at one corner of his mouth.

"It's old but it still works." She said, ignoring the smug look on his face. "We'll start over there and work our way this way," she was pointing toward a corner of the farm that was overrun by branches, trees, and loose rocks. Shane sighed heavily; this was going to be a long day.

* * *

He only puked once, but that was partially due to his hangover. He was chopping down a tree when it hit him; a knot in his stomach that slowly worked its way up and into his throat.

"I need to use your bathroom," he called to Aurora, but she had disappeared somewhere off to another corner of the farm. He looked around, panicking as he felt his mouth grow watery, and before he could think more he bent over and vomited. He only heaved once and was done, and not much had even came up besides all the liquid he had drank the day before.

It left him shaky and leaning up against the tree. He tried to wipe the sweat from his forehead, but he felt too shaky, too off balanced.

"Let's get you inside for a moment. You've done enough so far," it was Aurora, coming up beside him. If he wasn't in such a state, he would have been nervous at how she wrapped an arm around him and helped him carry himself to the farmhouse.

The rush of cool air tingled along his skin, causing bumps to rise along his arms. Aurora sat him in the chair, and he let his head fall to the table with a loud crack. It didn't hurt, not really.

"Oh, stop. You're fine. You just need a little water."

She shoved a bottled water in his face, and Shane lifted his head up just enough to pull the bottle to his lips. He didn't even hold it up, just wrapped his lips around the opening and inhaled, sucking water into his mouth. Aurora snickered, but that was probably due to the red mark on his forehead. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, nursing that bottle of water until his head started to feel somewhat normal again.

"Better?"

"Ugh," Shane grunted. "I'm fine."

"Well, you blew chunks back there, maybe you're a little less than fine."  
"I had a hangover." He growled, his eyes once again narrowing as he kept his eyes on Aurora's, his lips still around the opening of the bottle. He slowly brought his hand up, just barely above the table to where she could see, and flipped her off. She only smiled in return.

"Hurry up and drink that. We still got work to do."

He took his time. When he was done, the sun was already low in the sky; it was nearing dusk. He didn't want to have to be there any longer so he set himself at a good pace, clearing out a good portion of her farm. The wood had begun to pile up, and he found himself wondering if it took that many pieces to repair the fences at the ranch. He didn't question it, however, when Aurora showed back up, looking impressed as she stood with both hands on her waist.

"Impressive,"

Shane felt his face flush for a moment, and found a grin on his face. He quickly frowned when she glanced his way.

"I guess we're done for now. This should be enough wood. I'll bring it on over in the morning, it's getting late now." She held her hand out, and it took Shane a minute to realize she wanted the axe. He tossed it to her, much like she had him, and she caught it. When she looked at him, there was something in her green eyes he couldn't place. Humor, maybe? Whatever it was, it was gone just as quick as it came.

"Have a goodnight, Shane." She slowly smiled, big and coy. He finally noticed then how perfect her teeth were, how they stuck out against her sun-kissed skin. But still, that smile was something else entirely.

"Yeah," he grunted, turning and leaving. "You're welcome." He could feel her eyes on him as he walked down the path, and he reached back and flipped his hood over his head.

He bent his neck from side to side, stretching out the sore muscles there as he made it back to the ranch. He was caught up in his tight muscles, pulling his head back and forth with a tough hand on his chin, when his eyes fell to the fencing around the barn. All the fencing was sturdy, well kept, and very much fixed. Something clicked in his head, and he let go of his chin as if it had suddenly grown hot. He flung the front door of the house open, startling Marnie and Jas who sat at the table.

His eyes were wide, both arms thrown out to his sides as one held the door open and the other braced on the door frame. Marnie looked to Jas and then back to him, laying down the magazine she had in her hand.

"Shane…what's the matter? You're scaring me." She said, looking more concerned than she normally did.

"Did you send Aurora to come get me? To help fix the fencing around the barn?" His voice was low, steady, too calm.

"Shane? No…I haven't talked to Aurora since…since the other day when she dropped off some jelly for me. What's going on?"

Shane didn't answer as he slammed the door behind him, he feet carrying him to Aurora faster than he could remember running in a long time. He wasn't angry, though. As he ran, the chilly evening air whipped at his face and he smiled. He hadn't felt this thrill in quite some time.


	5. You're a Hobbit, Shane

* * *

 

* * *

 

She felt happy. Content. Smug. She was sitting at her dinner table, her small yet hearty dinner in front of her, and all she could do was smile. She cleared out one whole corner of her farm today, and she didn't even have to lift a finger. Shane did all that work, while she sat on her porch, listening to the constant smack of metal on wood.

She thought at first she might feel a little bad, but his gruff " _fuck off_ " vibrated through her head and she kept feeling less sad until it went away altogether. For now, she'd enjoy herself, wallowing in her smugness and letting her ego bask in the sunlight. She had just brought her fork to her mouth when someone knocked on her door. She sighed, contemplating whether to pretend she was out, when the knock came again.

She made her way to the door and was welcomed by an out of breath, sweating Shane.

"Oh, hello Sha-"

"Cut the crap, bull-shitter." He breathed. He was bent over, hands on his knees. He tried to stand up straight, but that only seemed to make his condition worse, and he was back with hands planted firmly on his knees.

"I see you found out."

"Of course I found out. It wasn't like I wasn't going to ask Marnie," he finally seemed to get his pants under control, and stood up straight, finally looking her in the eye.

"I didn't plan that far ahead. Honestly didn't think I'd get this far."

"Why the fuck did you have me out here in the middle of the goddamned day hacking at wood? I could have had a heart attack."

"I know. You scared me there for a second when you nearly fainted. But hey, if you had a heart attack I could have gotten you to the doctor in time. No loss."

He crossed his arms over his chest, and oh-so-slowly a smile formed on his face. It was something Aurora hadn't seen yet, and the way his eyes crinkled in the corners caught her eye. He looked…handsome. His hair was a disheveled mess, although that was now partially due to him running, and his cheeks were slightly red due to the abuse of wind. And with him smiling, his face looked alive.

"You know what," he said, his voice taking on a sugary tone. "Don't worry. You know, what goes around…comes around." And he pulled an Aurora: squinted directly at her, and backed off her porch. When he hit the last step, he flipped his hood over his head, still maintaining eye contact. He paused, and then turned and ran.

She watched him run until he disappeared into the forest. She sat back down at the table, absentmindedly eating while she thought of that smile. She thought of the villager's words of him, of Shane, and how he was. Back in the city, people wouldn't be so kind to the kind of person Shane was. How rude and put off he was. They would have taken one look at him and thought him pathetic, a drunk, just because who he was as a person.

But here, in this small town nestled snug in the heart of Stardew Valley, the villagers are sympathetic, more so than what Aurora would expect. What had Gus said about Shane that day in the saloon, when she had asked about all the villagers? _He doesn't talk much. Got his own stuff going on_. Emily has said the same thing. And then when she had asked Alex about him that day, he'd told her that he talked to him once about gridball, and he was nice once you took the time to look past his stone wall. Marnie, despite being his aunt and probably a little biased, had told her he did like drinking—maybe a little too much—but despite that, he had a warm heart.

But all Aurora could hear was _"fuck off_ " and the stony, red rimmed eyes that looked her dead in her own with no emotion. She took another bite of her food, deciding that she wanted to break through that stone.

* * *

"Shane, what are you doing? That's enough hot peppers to blow someone's head off." Marine warned. She had walked into the kitchen and caught him crushing up piles of peppers and sprinkling them into a bowl that had already been filled with a red liquid. It looked like tomato soup, but the color was a deep, darker red.

"That's the point." He responded, his voice low and concentrated.

"You're not…you're not planning to murder one of the villagers again, are you? Is it Sebastian again?"

"No. And fuck him." Shane winced at the memory of what Sebastian did, but let it slide this time. Well, after he made a mental note that he still needed to get that mopey bastard back…then he let the memory slide.

"Well, okay than. Don't hurt yourself." Marnie disappeared into the barn, only glancing back in concern at Shane once. Jas entered the room next, coming home after hanging out with Vincent all day. Despite being out all morning, she smiled brightly and energetically at him. Shane stirred the soup again, mixing the contents together until everything blended into the murky red liquid.

"Here Jas, take this to Aurora. Tell her it's a gift from Marnie." Shane thought for a second and then added, "actually, tell her it's from Penny." A gift from Marnie would probably be too suspicious, especially after his "what goes around, comes around" threat last night. Jas gave him a quirky smile with one corner of her mouth.

"But it's from you, silly."

Shane sighed lightly and bent down, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. "As your godfather, I'm giving you permission to lie just this once. Also, be convincing."

"This isn't going to be like Sebastian, is it? I don't think that's healthy."

Shane squeezed his eyes shut. "I thought we talked about this. Do not mention that name in this house."

"Okay, silly." Jas eyed him amused, but took the soup from his hands. He watched her go, and he smiled, this time both corners of his mouth turned upwards.

That night at the saloon, Shane sat at the end of the bar, his usual place next to the fire. He wasn't deep in thought or anything, just blankly staring down into the mug of beer in his hand. He idly pressed his thumb into the top of the handle until it went numb, and once the feeling returned, he'd do it again.

The door to the saloon opened, and Shane let his gaze wander over to the door. He quickly brought the mug up to his lips and chugged his beer, suddenly feeling nervous now that he saw the rabid look on the young farmer's face. Her cheeks were red—actually, now that she started to walk towards him, he could see that her _entire_ face was red. He knew it had nothing to do with the night breeze. Her eyes were deadlocked on Shane, ignoring the calls from other people in the bar as she strolled over to him. There wasn't any more beer left in his mug, and he didn't hesitate to break eye contact with Aurora long enough to call Gus over to get him another one.

He felt her take the seat next to him as he kept his eyes straight ahead.

"You think that's funny?" She whispered fiercely. Shane nodded his thanks when Gus sat another mug of beer on the bar. Shane grabbed it, took a long swig, and made a satisfied noise before turning and looking at Aurora.

"Fucking hilarious." He deadpanned.

"And what if I…was allergic to peppers or something?"

Shane took another swig of beer, keeping eye contact with Aurora. "Guess that thought never crossed my mind." He answered, and as he sat down his beer Aurora looked astonished that it was almost gone.

"I mean, other than numbing my tongue and causing my throat to swell, it wasn't half bad." She admitted, and Shane was surprised to find that her tone completely changed. He was disappointed in that. But he took in her red face again and smiled inwardly. He stiffened when she sat up straight, her side nudging his as she placed her arms up on the bar.

"Do you come here every night?" She asked. Shane groaned.

"I'm surprised that you're still trying to make friends with me. Haven't I been rude enough to you yet?"

"What, no way. You're like the nicest guy I've met here." Her even toned sarcasm almost caused Shane to smile, but he bit his lip to hold it back. "Plus, I've got to get to know you; it's the only way to figure out your weakness to use it to get back at you."

 _Good luck picking just one,_ Shane thought solemnly.

"I just can't believe you brought Jas into this evil scheme. That's dedication." Shane knew she was trying to make small talk, but he just wasn't up for it. Not that he ever was, but sometimes he wanted someone to talk to. Not talk about small talk, but _real_ talk. Small talk was to awkward, too common. It wasn't for him. He wanted to talk about why he felt like shit most days, about the accident, about how some days it was hard to get out of bed, even though he wasn't tired anymore. He wanted to talk deeply with someone, he always had, but he just never found the right person. Or maybe that was an excuse to keep it all held down, tied up like a bundle that he kept adding things to until it swayed and threatened to burst. But that bundle never did, and it never would—if he drowned it with alcohol and buried it with work.

"…but sometimes I get lonely on the farm. I have Bilbo, my dog, but let's be honesty, he barks when the wind blows; he's not very smart." Aurora had been talking, but Shane had been oblivious to everything she was saying.

"Look. It's sickly cute how much you want to be my friend," his sarcasm was almost as thick as hers. "But, uh, don't."

At this point, Shane was unsure of why he didn't want to be her friend. Maybe it was because hell _really_ was other people, and she didn't look the type to be hanging around him anyway. Maybe Alex, but not him. Although she didn't look quite as caught up as Haley, he could tell she took the time on herself. Her brown hair was always fixed—and not just brushed—but laid a perfect certain way in a different style each day. Her bangs were cut just before her eyes, and were thick enough that Shane couldn't see any skin on her forehead—and despite working on the farm, they always laid perfectly straight across, as if they were combed throughout the day. He'd only seen her wear dirty clothes into town once, with mud caked onto her pants as she ran through the storm that day early spring. She was cute, and Shane, well it made him feel old and ugly, unsure of himself, like the giant white elephant sitting next to the mouse.

"I'm just talking to you."

"What do you want from me? There are much cuter guys around for you to talk to." His self-doubt was starting to kick in, _like why would she want to talk to me, anyway?_ His thoughts circled, and he went to chug the rest of his beer. It was too his lips, his head tilted back, when she snatched it out of his hands. He watched in horror as the last bits of his beer trickled into her mouth as she finished it.

"How could you," he growled.

"Oh god," she gasped because, she _really_ didn't like beer. "Hey Gus, two more beers over here!"

Shane looked sidelong at her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm buying you a fucking beer. Be grateful."

Shane was about to protest, because the last thing he wanted was someone buying him beer. But Gus sat the mugs down with a smile, and Aurora turned to him, challengingly.

"Bet I can drink more than you." She lied. She knew she was lying. But Shane smirked and grabbed the beer.

"I saw that look on your face when you finished my beer just then. Absolute disgust. But, I'll take this bet." And he downed his beer before Aurora was even halfway done. Gus sat another mug down, suddenly eyeing the two amused.

"It's like gasoline," Aurora choked. She finished hers, but Shane was already onto the next one.

Aurora had two, and when she sat her last empty mug down, everything was spinning. She laughed, but then burped, feeling like part of her soul escaped her with it. Then she laughed again.

"You win," she slurred lightly.

"What do I win, then?" She lost track of how many Shane had had, but judging by his swaying and thick slur, he had enough.

"Nothing. But you get to pay for all the rounds we had. I didn't bring that much money."

"What the fuck? You said you were buying me a beer."

"Yes. And I bought you _a_ beer. Just one. A beer. You drank like fifty just then."

"I had nine."

"And you're paying for eight."

After Shane paid for his eight beers, he swayed out of the saloon, Aurora at his side. Now that he had some of that golden liquid in him, he didn't so much mind her company. Only when she stumbled and fell into Jodi's trashcan.

"I don't drink often," she said, bending down to pick up the trashcan. She missed, gave up, and sat down next to it instead. Shane pinched the bridge of his nose but picked the trashcan up anyway. He almost left Aurora there, but decided against it and helped her to her feet.

She clutched his jacket with one hand, the other out to her side like she was walking a beam. "I don't like beer."

"Then why did you…?" He left his sentence trail off, indicating to whatever that had been back in the saloon.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to be your friend."

Shane felt miserable. His stomach lurched and he felt icy in his head. _Of course,_ he thought, _the only thing she could bond over with me is beer. Such a fucking loser._

"Shane?"

"What?"

"Don't take me home just yet. Can we go to the dock?"

Shane planned to go there anyway, to drink until he could barely move, but he felt like he owed her one. So, he turned away from the path to her farm and headed to the dock. He stopped at the ranch on the way to get something, and then helped her the rest of the way to the dock. Once they were there, Shane pulled the six pack he'd stopped and got out from under his arm, and cracked it open. Aurora lay on her back, and for a moment Shane thought she was asleep. But when he leaned over her, he saw that her eyes were wide open.

"You're blocking my view." She muttered, and Shane turned his head up toward the sky, expecting something to be there.

"Of?"

"The sky, dummy."

"There's nothing up there but dots." He sat down a good foot away from her, looking out at the pond.

"Maybe," she drew out the word, almost like she was singing. "you look but you don't see. See," she pulled on his sleeve when he didn't, drawing his attention with her finger at the sky. He craned his neck upward, peering with blurred vision. It was weird; he hardly ever spent time looking up. "That's Hercules. It's easier to find if you find the stars Vega and Arcturus first." Shane blinked rapidly, but he wasn't seeing anything but a heavily peppered sky.

"I don't see it."

"It's _right there_ ," Aurora grew impatient, pointing wholeheartedly at the sky.

"I know you think you're pointing to it, Aurora, but the sky is shit massive and you could be pointing at anything. I don't see anything but a bunch of dots."

"Can you at least find Ursa Major?"

"I don't know what that means."

"The big dipper."

"Yeah, it's right there." He pointed then, smiling.

"Where? I can't see it."

"It's right there." Now it was his turn to point at the sky. Aurora sighed.

"I give up." She sat up then, her shoulders hunched and her arms in her lap.

"Here, have a cold one." Shane handed her a beer, although it wasn't actually cold. She took it anyway, and despite her earlier statement, she popped the tab open and chugged until half the can was gone. Shane smiled and took a swig of his.

"Fast drinker? Slow down," he then muttered, "woman after my own heart."

Aurora lay back then, her arms resting behind her head. "I like space. I like the stars and the sky. I think it's because everyone is always looking down and no one spends time looking up. And like, what's up there? Out there? We don't really know and it scares me."

"You like to be scared?"

"There's different kinds, right? Like, I'm scared of snakes because they're gross and they can bite. But I'm scared of space because it's so big and I can't know everything about it. It makes me all tingly." She laughed.

"Pretty sure it still falls under the same category of scared by snakes."

"Don't you think it's grounding, too? Like, it's so big and vast and sometimes empty, and here we are surrounded by people and trees and… _things_. We aren't so empty and vast, and we have things to hold onto."

Shane laid back then, beer resting on his stomach as he stared at the sky. He let his eyes go lazy, and his vision was no longer focus as he stared at the sky. He was too drunk to know what she was talking about. Or maybe he didn't know because he hadn't found anything to hold onto yet.

"You ever feel like…no matter what you do, you're gonna fail?" It was the beer, maybe, that made him talk. Or maybe he just wanted to let her know that he had nothing to hold onto, and that he felt much like space itself. "…like you're stuck in some miserable abyss and you're so deep you can't even see the light of day?" Aurora turned her head, her eyes falling on him as the low, dim light of the moon traced his face as he talked. "I just feel like no matter how hard I try…I'm not strong enough to climb out of that hole."

"You know," she said without missing a beat. "You don't have to climb out of that hole." She talked with her hands now, holding them out in front of her, and Shane watched them as she talked. "Holes can be nice. All the Baggins lived in a hole. You know, not the dirty, wormy hole. Just a nice, warm hole in the ground. Make the best of it; maybe you'll even get a wizard to string you along." She laughed. She was clearly drunk, babbling nonsensical, but Shane smiled at her words nonetheless.

"You just compared me to a fucking hobbit."

"All I'm saying is that sometimes we get into holes, ones we don't think we can get out of, and some we can't. But it's not a bad thing. We just gotta live with it, make the best of it, and you know, some days that hole may be dark and lonely, and on other days the sun shines just right, just above it."

Shane's smile was gone. Not because anything she said upset him, but because he'd never thought of it that way before. He'd buried himself so low and thrown the shovel that he had given up on ever trying to get out.

"If you were stuck in a deep hole," Aurora slurred heavily next to him. "Even though I don't like looking down, I'd come see you."


End file.
